I'm 18 female, i haven't been in contact with my father for 4 years since he doesn't wanna change himself at all. Anyways in my dream I was physically harassed by my father and he tried to kill me, then I jumped on his back and started choking him with my full power, and he died and I got so scared I started crying and being terrified of the consequences, it all felt absolutely real and i started to question whether i miss him or I'm just feeling guilty for taking his life
This dream is rich with emotional content and may reflect deep-seated feelings and unresolved issues relating to your relationship with your father. Here's a detailed interpretation of your dream:
Father as a Symbol: Your father in this dream likely represents not just himself, but also the complex emotions you have towards him. Your estrangement and the acknowledgment that he doesn't want to change could be manifesting as the threatening and violent figure you encountered. This aspect of your dream suggests unresolved anger, fear, or resentment towards your father.
Physical Harassment and Attempted Murder: These acts in your dream may symbolize feelings of powerlessness or violation in the real relationship with your father. This could be related to past experiences or ongoing emotional conflict, or your perception of his actions or attitudes that are harmful to you.
Choking Your Father and His Death: When you fight back and ultimately "kill" your father in your dream, it could represent your desire to break free from his influence or the emotional turmoil related to him. This action might symbolize a profound wish to end the negative aspects of your relationship or to feel empowered over what once made you feel vulnerable or threatened.
Fear and Guilt: The fear and guilt you experience after his death in the dream suggest an internal conflict. On one hand, you might desire independence and emotional freedom, but on the other hand, there's guilt for wanting to sever that relationship definitively. This could indicate feelings of responsibility or guilt for the estrangement, or worry about the possible consequences of no longer having him in your life.
Questioning Your Emotions: The dream highlights an inner debate. You wonder if you miss your father or feel guilty about the estrangement. These are valid emotions and reflect the complexity of family relationships, particularly when they are strained or broken.
Overall, this dream could be urging you to confront and acknowledge your feelings related to your father. It's a psychological processing of the past and current relationship status. This might be a good opportunity for introspection, perhaps considering whether seeking closure, either internally or directly, is something you want to pursue. Therapy or counseling could also provide a supportive space to unpack these emotions and navigate them constructively.